The Day I Realised I Loved being a Mum

So I had an epiphany today.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I adore my children and always have.  They make my heart contract in a way I didn’t know was possible.

But being a Mum? No.  I haven’t been loving  that.

It hasn’t just been the lack of sleep, the crying , the constant worrying, the strain on my marriage or the fact that I am currently watching a colleague steal my job from under my nose.

No no – can’t blame any of that.  It is Me.

I worry and stress about everything.  I have control issues.  I want everything to be perfect, organised, under control.  I have to be prepared for every eventuality, I have 3 diaries and a wall chart.  I just can’t let things go.

Today though – today , while in the garden throwing the ball for the dog for the 100th time and watching my little girl copy everything I did – I realised a few things.

  • The world will not stop if the children don’t have a weeks supply of clean underwear in their drawers at all times
  • I have never been as happy in my life as I am today
  • Nothing really matters outside my family’s four walls
  • My children are becoming little people and I  just love them
  • I don’t like being apart from them

Okay, so I will still enjoy going to work tomorrow and having a Hot cuppa and some adult conversation.  And I will still dress all the dolls before I go to bed, because I can’t help myself.  And of course my Littlest One pooed herself before she went to bed, because she always does – But do you know what, I am okay with that.

Maybe, subconsciously,  I don’t care about the job.  There is only so far you can go, I have nothing left to prove.  I have got something more important to do.

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2 thoughts on “The Day I Realised I Loved being a Mum

  1. marmaladepie March 17, 2015 / 10:33 pm

    Great post, I’m really enjoying reading them. I’ve gradually trained myself to be much more patient and less cross and fiery over the years….but it’s hard as I now tend to bottle things up much more – which is bad in its own way!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Mummy Marbles March 17, 2015 / 10:38 pm

    There is no easy answer. I am finally finding some sort of middle ground, but I have had to really train my brain!! x

    Like

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